1)Tell him Robert Pattinson is hotter than him.
2)Burn the leather jacket he gave Bella
3)Give Bella’s ring to Jacob.
4)Make Bella do ballet again and say “It’s so she can be more flexible in bed”
5)Listen to music when playing chess with him so he can’t hear your thoughts.
6)Tell him he should be in love with Yuuki Cross from Vampire Knight
7)Tell him Kaname Kuran is hotter and more protective than him
8)Tell him Jacob is going to shoot him with the “Bloody Rose”
9)Tell him he should go to Cross Academy
10)Think of the song “Speed Over Beethoven”
11)Handcuff Bella to Jacob in a bed and show him
12)Give him “Guitar Hero“
13)Tell him he should be a veterinarian or a cardiologist.
14)Put a bell on his neck saying “You’re not a lion, you’re a house cat”
15)Tell him to give Bella a vampire kiss.
16)Buy him a coffin
17)Dye his hair black and make him a ponytail
18)Make him listen “Hot in Here” by Nelly
19)Make Edward find a CD with the song “Sex Bomb” and then say that that CD is for Jacob.
20)Tell him Leah imprinted on him.
21)Twist his neck and say: This one is for Victoria.
22)Say “I’m going to Phoenix, want to come?”
23)Buy him a fake fur coat
24)Find a mouse and yell: “The Spanish Flu! It came back!”
25)Tell him Nessie’s got the Spanish Flu.
26)Tell him he looks like Butters on South Park’s episode: The Ungroundable.
27)Give him a kiss on the face and say “Good Night Edward, sleep tight”
28)Tell him New Moon is the best book you ever read.
29)Tell him Nessie is cuter and stronger than him.
30)Tell him he should compose songs for High School Musical
31)Dare him to make out with Rosalie or Jacob on a Truth or Dare game.
32)Challenge him to play Tag.
33)Put a scarf on him and when he gets mad say: “What? I don’t want you to get cold!”
34)Tell him Nessie isn’t his daughter
35)Think about Jasper a lot and when he asks why are you thinking about him, say: “It’s not me, but I think I saw the bloodthirsty Maria the other day, maybe it’s her…”
36)Ask: “What’s your favorite food? Fast food?”
37)Only buy black clothes for Bella and say: “What? That color suits her better…”
38)When Bella and Edward are together, give a pair of panties to Jacob and make him say: “Hey Bella, you left this on my kitchen yesterday.”
39)Tell him Jacob plays piano better than him without even trying
40)Tell him Barack Obama is a werewolf and that he is going to exterminate all vampires in America.
41)Make Jacob sing “If You Were Gay” by Avenue Q to Edward.
42)Say Full Metal Alchemist’s Edward has a much better name.
43)Break his legs so he can never run again.
44)Tell him Michael Jackson is a vampire and that he’s after Nessie.
45)Make him listen to “All I Have to do is Dream” by the Everly Brothers.
46)Tell him to smoke. When he asks why, say: “You’re lungs are all rotten inside. And I want you stop consuming my air without any need!"
47)Tell him he should live underwater or in space so he doesn’t waste more space.
48)Tell him: “You hunt just like a wolf…”
49)Tell him Global Warming is going to kill all animals if he doesn’t stop driving his Volvo when he could just walk.
50)Tell him Stephenie Meyer isn’t going to write Twilight from his perspective.